This can be termed as the final of my articles on Relationship and Astrology as finally I am coming to some solutions which Astrology can provide in relationship matters. It has been a long internal journey for me since I declared without any reluctance and fear of losing business that Astrology and Marriage has no connection with each other (https://www.astrosaxena.com/ramm) about two years ago and I followed the same stand with many subsequent articles like - http://astrosaxena.com/irm, http://astrosaxena.com/d9lifepath, http://astrosaxena.com/chartmatch, http://astrosaxena.com/relsyn, and http://astrosaxena.com/2marriage.
Without any doubt, I suffered the consequences as people stopped consulting me for marriage matters and I was prepared for that. I am happy to say that now the marriage/horoscope matching consultation requests I receive in a month are almost nil. It only shows that we only want to hear our desires rather than the truth. It is funny that normally people ask so much about marriage stuff but when I did a full session on FB on Astrology and Marriage - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQJ9daCp1jM&t=158s then none asked any question.
After 2 years, I still stand with my opinion that marriage as an institution has no connection with Astrology. But we have a problem as people are crazy for marriage and want to know about their married life. Also, people are sincere about how they can improve the quality of married life. As we have a problem then we would have a solution too. So, in this article I will try to give some important tips where Astrology can help you in relationship matters. At least the two people in relation can mutually co-operate with each other if these tips are followed but if other family members also have their say in marriage then things may not work out. So, these tips are strictly applicable for 2 people in marriage. They are as follows –
7th house and 7th house lord
Mutual Cooperation and letting-go of Ego.
Let’s cover all points one after the other –
Overall Chart – I again say that there is no chart good for marriage. Every chart would have malefic planets sitting in one house or another and impacting relationship houses or planets. Then if you are getting married then plan is for 20-25 years at least. Do you think that dasha and planets will remain static for 20-25 years? One or the other dasha will activate your 6th house. 8th house, 12th house, Saturn, Rahu, Ketu and Mars. Sooner or later malefic will transit your 6th house, 7th house or over Moon or over Venus. So, do you think that you can afford to have a fairy tale love story throughout life? So, 1st of all realize that like everyone else, you will have issues in relationship matters and you & your partner together need to find solutions to make things work.
Ashtakoot System – 1st of all, let go of that Ashtakoot System of points matching which is completely obsolete now in today’s world. I again say that if charts matching is so easy like points matching then why you even need an Astrologer? You can do it by yourself.
Ascendant Relationship – 1st of all, the relationship between ascendants should be positive. This point is based on the factor that every ascendant has a particular relation with every another ascendant. Like, I am Scorpio ascendant person. If I have a friend who is Libra ascendant then as Libra is my 12th house, that friend is going to activate my 12th house as long as we are together. Likewise, every person with every other ascendant will activate some house for me if they come into my life. So, every ascendant sign activates some houses in your chart and if the houses activated are malefic houses or ascendant lords are enemies to each other then at least a long term happy relation may not be expected. People can remain friends or colleagues but if same people try to become partners, house or planets energies doesn’t support at all. So, main house to house relations are as follows –
- 2/12 – 2nd house is of wealth and security. 12th house is of losses and foreign lands. In the example I gave, Scorpio ascendant person getting into relation with Libra ascendant person. Scorpio person will activate 2nd house of Libra ascendant person but Libra ascendant person is activating 12th house of Scorpio ascendant person. It means that for a Libra ascendant person it will be a relationship which will make them feel that they have gained something (2nd house) but Scorpio ascendant person will feel loss in relation (12th house). It may also happen that Scorpio person can get opportunity to settle in foreign lands (12th house) due to this relation. We can apply this rule to any two set of successive ascendants like Aries/Taurus, Taurus/Gemini, Gemini/Cancer or Pisces/Aries etc. We need to keep in mind the mutual relationship of lords too.
- 3/11 – 3rd house is of efforts and 11th house is of gains. Now, if ascendants are in 3/11 relationship for two people like Aries/Gemini or Capricorn/Pisces then it shows that one person may have to work really hard (3rd house) to sustain the relation while other person will get gains of that relation. If ascendant lords are enemies then things can be really tough here. Like, if a Capricorn person is in relation with Pisces person, Capricorn person will have to put lots of efforts to make relation work while Pisces person will get the gains of all those efforts. We can apply it in any such ascendants like Aries/Gemini, Taurus/Cancer, Gemini/Leo where ascendants are 3rd house/11th house from each other.
- 4/10 – 4th house is of home and 10th house is of work. They both are houses of responsibilities. So, this relationship will be based in responsibility factor. If couple has 4/10 relation in ascendants like Aries/Cancer or Cancer/Libra then it shows that one person will become more responsible towards home related stuff while the other will become responsible for work related matters. It means that both partners will teach each other something in matters of responsibility. Again, if ascendant lords are enemies then things can be even harder for the person feeling burden or responsibilities. This relation can exist when two ascendants have gap of 4 or 10 signs, i.e. Aries/Cancer, Leo/Scorpio and Sagittarius/Pisces etc. In today’s practical world if both partners are matured then this relation can work well.
- 5/9 – 5th house is house of happiness and 9th house is house of fortune. This is one good combination to have if ascendants of a couple are in 5/9 relationship. It means if they are Aries/Leo or Cancer/Scorpio, i.e. ascendants at distance of 5 or 9 signs. This is always considered a harmonious synastry. Jupiter’s 5th and 9th aspects are also the most benefic aspects. Here, one person brings happiness to other and other person is bringing fortune in relation.
- 6/8 – 6th house is of conflicts and 8th house is of sudden changes. This is strictly avoidable in relationship. Especially if lords are enemies to each other like Gemini/Scorpio or Aries/Virgo (Mercury/Mars) and Leo/Capricorn (Sun/Saturn). Even if lords are friends to each other, some resistance, friction or sudden changes will keep coming into relationship. As long as possible, this combination must be avoided. This combination can happen when ascendants are 6 or 8 signs away like Aries/Virgo or Virgo/Aquarius etc.
- 1/7 – 1st house is self and 7th house is spouse. I think I should have started from this one. This one looks fine with the balance between self and spouse. So, Aries/Libra or Scorpio/Taurus is a good combination of ascendants in relation.
So when you are choosing a partner, 1st of all see if ascendants are striking positive or at least average relation.
Dushthana Houses – Ideally, Dushthana Houses (houses # 6, 8 and 12) should be blank. If at all there are planets in these houses, they should be benefic planets in good dignity. Benefic planets in good dignity will safeguard person from disputes and conflicts. Even if they stay separately then separation will be for good reason like profession etc rather than disputes. Avoid any chart which has malefic planets in dushthana houses especially if their dignity is not good.
7th house and 7th house lord – Then 7th house is main house of relationship and how we deal in relationship. If someone’s 7th house is impacted by malefic planets then they should look for partner who has benefic planets in 7th house. Again, 7th house is not the one which causes disputes. That is job of 6th house. 7th house only shows the kind of relationship you may have. So, if both sides are ready to cooperate then things can still work with malefic in 7th house.
Moon Position – And I can repeat it 100 times in a day. Moon is most important planet. When you are looking for partner, ensure that Moon is well placed, house-wise and sign-wise both. Moon shows our ability to be flexible with others. Also, wherever Moon is, that’s where your mind is. So, if Moon is in 2nd house, 4th house, 5th house, 7th house etc it shows that person’s mind is all into matters of home, family and relationship. This person will accommodate in these matters but again if Moon is in 7th house but it is debilitated or hemmed by malefic then avoid such person as your partner.
Venus Position – Venus is main planet of relationship and devotion. Venus’s good or average position suggests that person can be devoted towards relationship. Again, see Venus house and sign positions both. Even if Venus is in relationship oriented houses but it is in bad dignity or impacted by malefic, it shows some problems in relationships.
Jupiter Position– Jupiter is our morals and values. If person values relationship and family life then his well-positioned Jupiter will support him in working for those things. He won’t think about separation so easily. So again, see the house and sign positions of Jupiter.
Mars Position - Mars represents anger, aggressive nature, control and dominance. These things can spoil the marriage if partners are aggressive or dominant towards each other or even if 1 person is dominant towards another. So, make sure that both person's have Mars in good dignity. It should not be debilitated or enemy signs. Mars in good dignity ensures that person will not unnecessarily show anger and even if he is angry, he will be very dignified in expressing his anger or displeasure about things. He will not be using abusive words or physical violence against partner.
Dashas – Now, this is important. You need to finally see that at least one person is going through a dasha which is supporting marriage. Relationship can be sustained based on that person’s dasha. If dasha of both person’s are not supportive of relation then conflicts can easily be on cards. Also, if someone is in Venus dasha and his partner is in malefic planet or 6th house lord dasha then Venus dasha person should lead the relation. He should take important decisions of marriage because if other person takes these decisions then somehow disputes and conflicts would arise. Then when Venus dasha ends and Sun dasha starts then this person can take a back-step in relation and let his partner with benefic planet dasha take decisions of married or family life.
Mutual Cooperation and letting-go of Ego – Then the most important thing, it is obvious that we may not get two charts/people with all the above qualities. It means at least one chart will have some issues and marriage would largely depend on other person or his chart. Another way of saying is that ensure that at least one chart is supporting marriage and then it is for the other person to realize that his marriage is running because of his partner and he should come in supportive role. He has to follow his partner in relationship matters. He has no other option. Here, the couple needs to exhibit lots of understanding, mutual cooperation and letting go of ego. Just because you are male partner in relationship, doesn’t mean that you can have higher say everywhere especially when your marriage is sustaining because of your wife’s chart. So, you need to let go of your ego and follow your spouse. This concept applies as is from other side too.
Conclusion – So, these are the important things to look at the time of choosing a partner astrologically. Again, there is nothing like charts matching. Even by this process, we are coming to know the challenges they may need to face together and who will have what role in marriage?