So, I am back here with my most favorite topic, i.e. Marriage & Astrology. Of course, this topic also has its roots from my consultations and feedback/questions coming from many of you regarding marriage. These consultations actually lead me to reflect if there is really any connection between Astrology & Marriage or this connection was created for social benefit. I know that my views here may not be liked and some may even feel offensive but these are completely my personal views and people need not to agree with me every time. At the same time, it is my right to put forward my views on a topic on which I get queries almost every day, so that people would know my views on it without asking again.
As I said, I reflected back a lot on Marriage as an Institution or as a social concept and now I am of the opinion that Marriage or Success/Failure of Marriage can have no relation with Astrology. I know that this may be surprising for many but as always I have detailed reasons to support my claim. Please read through this article patiently and with open mind, then if you have any conflicting view then we can talk about it at any forum.
So, let's cover my reasons under these points -
Marriage & Astrology
Meaning of Marriage Consultation.
Why Marriage Predictions Fail?
Relationship Astrology in Other Societies.
Importance of Marriage in Societies like India.
Things to be seen in Horoscope for Relationship.
How important is Astrologer's advice?
Let's cover all points one after the other –
Marriage & Astrology – As I said, Astrology has nothing to do with Marriage. Astrology is knowledge and Science of Stars & Planets which rules our human life and Marriage is a Social Concept. Marriage was developed as an institution by Society in the name of morality to avoid the possibility of unclaimed children. Society didn’t want to see unclaimed children, so it put responsibility on couple by the name of marriage. Then it was linked with Religion, so that every person must follow it. But as always, humans can never create anything perfect. Hence, Marriage is not perfect either, that’s why Divorce was created. If Marriage has any connection with God/Universe then there was no need of Divorce. The existence of Divorce itself proves the futility of Marriage. Man knows that he can’t create anything perfect so he has to create a way out of his imperfection. But then institute of Marriage needed to prosper, so Society needed some justification for marriage as an institution. Hence, it took shelter in Astrology, for the simple reason that not many understand Astrology and people can be easily fooled in the name of matching horoscopes and auspicious timing of marriage. So, here is what looks like done by Society –
- 7th house – 7th house is normally seen as house of marriage and spouse. But it is basically house of Other People/Masses/Business. As Business is normally done in Partnerships, 7th house became house of Partnerships. Now, as marriage is also a kind of partnership between 2 individuals, 7th house was given portfolio of marriage. So, marriage was linked with astrology out of necessity, not out of nature. It was a make shift arrangement.
- Relation – 7th house and 5th house of chart only talk about love and dealing with other people. It has no connection with marriage as a ritual. Astrology tells us when we can have a relation or when we can interact with other people, but it has no scope for marriage as an institute. Stars don’t care about the process you or your Society may need to follow to let two people have a relation.
- Horoscope “Not-Matching” – Then they created things like Horoscope Matching only to justify match making. Till date, I have seen 1000+ charts and I never found a chart good for marriage and I never saw any 2 charts completely matching. I always find some drawbacks while matching charts. That’s why, I have kept least fee for Marriage and Horoscope Matching as I know that after some time people will stop consulting me for Marriage as I always tell them No. So, if they stop coming to me, my loss won’t be much. As I said, I never found 2 charts matching and I always gave 3-4 point cautions to couple if they still want to get married. But question here is that if no charts are matching Astrologically and if I didn’t find any chart good for relations then has Marriage got anything to do with Astrology? I know that some of you may be surprised but just to test it you may put any birth details of your choice, I will be able to tell at least 5 reasons why that person is better to stay single. Likewise, give details of a couple who are already married and you think that they are going through a great married life and I will again tell you at least 5 points on which their relation can fall apart at a given dasha/transit.
- Desh Kaal Paristhiti – As Marriage is a Social concept, we need to see the Societies where it is practiced and how different results are. Like Western Society has always given independence to Woman, and that’s the reason of their high divorce rate as both sides of marriage want to remain independent. If Marriages have sustained in India or any other male dominated society then it is not because charts were matched or Astrology allowed marriage but it is because Woman was ready to be subservient in relation. In India, Divorce is still seen as Stigma and that forced people to remain in a horrible marriage. Suppose there is a country which doesn’t have any Law for Divorce, then can it claim that we have 0% Divorce Rate? Dude, do you even allow people to take Divorce? Same thing is with Indian and other male dominated societies. Do they allow a Divorcee to live with Dignity and Peace? If not, then who would want to create a hell for himself/herself by taking a Divorce, unless circumstances are really awful and life-threatening. I hope you got my point. I have already discussed Marriage/Divorce from perspective of changing Indian Society in these articles - http://astrosaxena.com/marriageissues and http://astrosaxena.com/divissues.
- So all this indicates that Marriage/Divorce is more a Social Concept, than an Astrological one and if it is so, then how much Astrology is going to help you in Marriage Matters?
Meaning of Marriage Consultation – Then what does it mean when an Astrologer predicts a good time for Marriage for anyone? When an Astrologer tells that this X, Y, Z is good timeline for you to get married, then he only meant to say that 7th house & 5th house will be activated and either you will get good alliances for marriage or you will have a love relation during that time. It never meant that anyhow you will get married during that time.
Why Marriage Predictions Fail? - Now, the reasons why a marriage timing prediction may not come true –
- Marriage Timing prediction is done on the basis of one chart. But you are not the only person involved in marriage. What if the other person you are meeting doesn’t have a good marriage time on as per his/her chart?
- Then we are still a Society where 90% Marriages are Arranged. So, here comes both families. All have their own charts, right? And of course, their own desires from Marriage. They all impact marriage in their own ways. Like, parents, siblings and all. But did Astrologer see charts of all of them? No. Prediction was only based on your chart. Hence, if people involved in marriage are not supportive of marriage & you remain close to these people, then no matter how good your time is going for marriage, there will be obstacles coming in marriage.
- Another thing which I have seen in my consultations is that couple are scared to take final decision. They want that decision to be taken by someone else so that if tomorrow something goes wrong in marriage then they can blame others. This makes good time pass away without manifestation of marriage. In some cases, they want Guaranty that Marriage will be prosperous. LOL. What is the guaranty of next breath we are going to take? I don't even know if I will be able to complete this article and post it. Then where is the guaranty in human life? Human Life is Temporary or best word is Momentary.
- Also, people are not ready to compromise on some issues which may not be very important once you get married. Like, Saturn impacting Relations means certain delay in relation but it also means that person has to be very matured and practical in relation. Now, if such a person refuses a good alliance solely on the basis of caste/religion, then it is impracticality for me.
- There are many positions in chart where person is supposed to have relation in different caste or religion. If parents are still adamant for same caste/religion thing then don’t blame Astrology or Astrologer. Your time came and passed away but you were searching among wrong group of people. And then same parents say that they are very worried for their children marriage. Sorry, you are only worried for your caste/religion and for your name in your community because out of the choice available, i.e. Children’s Marriage or Caste/Religion, you have chosen Caste/Religion. Now, don’t say that you are dyeing to see your children marriage ASAP. You only want a medal from your community that your children got married at "right age" and within Caste/Religion.
- So, these are main reasons why marriage predictions may fail.
Relationship Astrology in Other Societies – Now, here comes the point which will undoubtedly prove that Astrology has nothing to do with Marriage as an Institution. Astrology is applicable up to the point of Relationship, after that it is all Social Circus.
- Suppose there is a Society which allows Live-in relationship. Now, let me know where marriage stands as an institute or ritual from Astrological point of view? Astrology is still governing relationship between couple but now Societies don’t have any compulsion for Marriage.
- Suppose there is a Society which allows Single Parenting. Now, where is the need of Marriage to have relation and then have a child? Of course, relation and birth of child are still in 5th house, 7th house and 8th house, but where is Marriage? And I am not giving examples out of blues. I have clients/friends from such societies who are either single parent or in live-in relations.
- What about Tribal people? Do they have marriage? I am sure that some may have but I am also sure that many won’t have. But their population grows and tribe sustains itself through generations. How? Marriage is not there but relationship is there. Astrology is working on relationship.
- In North/Central India, there are still communities which perform Child Marriages. So, do they follow Astrological Advice or Horoscope Matching? For them, a boy or girl touching the teen-age is old, so he/she should be married before that. So, who is ruling Marriage? Society or Astrology?
- Do I mean to say that a Society can function against Astrology? Why Planets don’t stop Societies from behaving in a wrong way? No, Societies are still working as per Astrology. The planet which gets impacted most easily is Moon. Moon represents Mind. All Societies impact our mind from childhood. They make us followers. So, even Societies’ ways of functioning is under Astrology but human mind, once impacted by a concept, finds it hard to question it.
Importance of Marriage in Societies like India – At the same time, none can deny the importance of Marriage in present day sexually-repressed societies like India. You read it correctly, nothing is typo here. Present Day India is a sexually-repressed society which makes Marriage most necessary and important for people. I said “Present Day India” as Ancient India was not sexually-repressed. Don’t forget that Kaam-Sutra was written in India and the one who wrote it was a Sage. All these scriptures indicated that our Ancient Sages wanted India to be a Sexually Expressive Society as they know that whatever is suppressed/repressed comes back at you with double force. Our ever-growing population is proof and result of that sexual repression in last 1000 years at least. I give you best example regarding this, just reflect about it and let me know your views. Why Adult Jokes are created? It is best example of how an energy, if suppressed, comes back in different forms. Person who is creating, listening/reading or sharing an Adult Joke is a mentally ill person. Somehow he is trying to satisfy the sexual desire through those jokes, else there is no need to create Adult Jokes. All most popular TV Shows are full of Sexual Jokes and they are top in ratings. Sex-Comedies are now routines as Movie. This is all result of repression of sexual energy. Think about it.
On another note, Marriage is necessary because most of us are not aware of our purpose of being here in this Universe. So, Marriage serves as purpose because after marriage person feels that he/she has a family and life should be dedicated towards the family. So, in a way, marriage gives a purpose to a purposeless life. But again it is a make-shift arrangement which is out of necessity rather than out of nature.
So, there is no denial that marriage is necessary in Societies like India but it doesn’t mean that Astrology will have an automatic connection with marriage as a social concept/institute.
Things to be seen in Horoscope for Relationship – But relationships are still governed by Astrology, right? So, what we should see in Horoscope to know that person is capable of being in relation for good long time.
- Check that relationship oriented houses (2nd, 7th and 11th) or planets (Venus, Juiter, Moon) are not impacted by malefic planets.
- Check that 6th house of disputes should not have any planet or if any planet is there then it should be a benefic planet.
- Check that Dashas are supporting relation, i.e. 6th house of dispute is not active, for a long time.
- Check that Moon is well placed for both the persons.
- These are very few tips which show that couple can sail through good/bad times in relation with mutual understanding. It doesn’t mean that they will have dream marriage but just that they will be able to negotiate through hard times.
- For others, negotiating through hard times will be tough.
- So, like this, Astrology can help us to find a good partner but don’t guaranty a happy marriage as Social Environment matters. Like, what if a guy in India finds a girl and her horoscope is good at all these points above but she is of different caste and his parents are not supportive. Then what? That’s why I say that Marriage depends on Society you are in.
How important is Astrologer's advice? – But does Astrologer’s advice really matter, specially in Marriage Matters? I mean if a couple or parents come to me with 2 charts & they feel that this is ideal match. Then if I say that don’t marry as charts are not matching, then will they actually change their decision? As far as my experience go, most people already decide about what they want to do even before coming to any Astrologer. All they seek is confirmation and if they don’t get it from 1 Astrologer, then they will go to next till the time when they find someone who gives them confirmation. So, majority of people are not looking for a genuine advice or suggestion but they look for confirmation that they can go ahead with their plans. Even that confirmation is required so that if execution of that plan fails then they can blame the Astrologer for giving wrong advice. Well, then ask yourself whether you are receptive to right advice? I am bringing this here because if people really think that Astrology has something to do with Marriage then will you accept an Astrologer’s advice when he says that you should marry after 30 or 35 years of age or someone should marry in other caste/religion or one should not marry at all. Think about it. If you really feel that Astrology has some connection with Marriage then these are also astrological advices. You should be equally receptive to these suggestions too, right? The basic fact that you follow social dictate with regards to marriage when there is a conflict between social dictate & astrological advice, itself proves that marriage is more a social thing and social environment will have an upper hand in matters of marriage. Then why to blame poor Astrology.
I have grown up in a Society where I have seen people blaming others for their lives. Likewise, whenever a Marriage used to fail, family was quick to blame the Astrologer that he matched the charts, so we did the marriage. As if he had not matched the charts, then you would have cancelled all the plans? That’s why I developed my own way of consulting in marriage matters with utmost care where in 99% of cases I end-up saying No to marriage plans for some very crucial reasons. Now, I want to know that how many people are following this advice as readily as they were following the advice of going ahead with marriage? Even with this Article, I am sure that many people would say that see, this guy says that we can marry without worrying about Astrology and Planets. Such is the nature of Human Life. We see what we want to see. We listen, what we want to listen. And we follow, only what we want to follow.
Conclusion – So, this is what my small thesis on Relevancy of Astrology in Marriage Matters. Many people may find it controversial, disagreeable, offensive or even abusive to Indian Society but this is what I genuinely feel on this topic. Article is here for the testing in front of you all.
Thanks for reading as always,
Vishal S Saxena – Astrologer.