As we know that in recent times we have seen many incidents of Sexual Offences against Women and Children in India which has disturbed the nation’s consciousness. Hence, I am also not going to remain detached from impact of any such event. Many times I have seen discussions as to the reason why such offences happen? So, I tried through my own little ways to find out some of the reasons why sexual offences take place? I posted about it on my Facebook page and invited the thoughts & opinions of people as to why they feel that such offences take place? In the end, I received good number of responses. Good thing is that I got responses from my friends/followers from other countries too which made it possible to write such an extensive article. So, thanks to all people who gave their opinions which made this article possible.
I truly understand that in a country where 3-4 rapes are reported every hour and still majority of cases go unreported, reasons given here are very few reasons and many a times reasons can be based even individual case-wise but following are some of the common reasons people & I felt which leads to sexual offence. By no way these should be interpreted as defense or excuses in favor of accused. These are actually some drawbacks in our society and in our consciousness which we need to improve or correct to become a better society. So, following are a few reasons I received or I personally think are responsible for sexual offences against Women and Children –
Social Upbringing and Seeing a Woman as Sex Object
Revenge & Defame.
Lack of implementation of Laws & Political Will
Lack of Meditation in Current Society
Let’s cover all points one after the other –
Sexual Repression– Let’s begin with a story from Osho Rajneesh’s book “From Sex to Superconsciousness” –
- One Sunday a poor farmer was leaving his house and at the gate he met a childhood friend who had come to see him. The farmer said, ”Welcome! But where have you been for so many years? Come in! Look, I have promised to see some friends and it would be difficult to postpone the visit, so please rest in my house. I will be back in an hour or so. I will return soon and we can have a long chat.” The friend said, ”Oh no, wouldn’t it be better if I were to come with you? Yet my clothes are very dirty. If you can just give me something fresh, I will change and come along with you.” Sometime before, the king had given the farmer some valuable clothes and the farmer had been saving them for some grand occasion. Joyfully, he brought them out. His friend put on the precious coat, the turban, the dhoti and the beautiful shoes. He looked like the king himself. Looking at his friend, the farmer felt a bit jealous; in comparison he looked like a servant. He began to wonder if he had made a mistake, giving away his best outfit, and he began to feel inferior. Now everyone would look at his friend, he thought, and he would look like an attendant, like a servant. He tried to calm his mind by thinking of himself as a good friend and as a man of God. He would think only of God and of noble things, he decided. ”After all, of what importance is a fine coat or an expensive turban?” But the more he tried to reason with himself, the more the coat and the turban encroached on his mind. On the way, although they were walking together, passers-by only looked at his friend; nobody noticed the farmer. He began to feel depressed. He chatted with his friend, but inside he was thinking about nothing else but that coat and turban! They reached the house they were intending to visit and he introduced his friend: ”This is my friend, a childhood friend. He is a very lovely man.” And suddenly he blurted, ”And the clothes? They are mine!” The friend was stunned. Their hosts were also surprised. He realized as well that the remark had been uncalled for, but then it was too late. He regretted his blunder and reproached himself inwardly. Coming out of the house, he apologized to his friend. The friend said, ”I was thunderstruck. How could you say something like that?” The farmer said, ”Sorry. It was just my tongue. I made a mistake.” But the tongue never lies. Words only pop out of one’s mouth if there is something on one’s mind; the tongue never makes a mistake. He said, ”Forgive me. How such a thing was uttered, I do not know.” But he knew full well that the thought had surfaced from his mind. They started for another friend’s house. Now he had firmly resolved not to say that the clothes were his; he had steeled his mind. By the time they had reached the gate he had reached an irrevocable decision that he would not say the clothes were his. That poor man didn’t know that the more he resolved not to say anything, the more firmly rooted the inner awareness that the clothes belonged to him became. Moreover, when are such firm decisions made? When a man makes a firm resolution, like a vow of celibacy for example, it means that his sexuality is pushing desperately from inside. If a man resolves he will eat less or will fast from today on, it implies he has a deep desire to eat more. Such efforts inevitably result in inner conflict. We are what our weaknesses are. But we decide to curb them; we resolve to fight against them – and naturally, this becomes a source of subconscious conflict.
- And the story goes on that the person keeps on embarrassing himself and his friend through the day in front of others by repeating that clothes are his. I feel this is what has happened to societies like India. We have tried to suppress or repress Sex from life so much so that the majority of the society has become sexual in almost every act or thought. I know it is a big statement but just have a look at society around you and you will realize that whatever we wanted to suppress has come out in open in the weirdest possible ways. Like Sex Comedies are now common in movies, the TV shows which have most adult jokes are top trending shows and even our slightest of jokes in our daily life has some sexual indication in it. This is nothing but the impact of repressing sex. The history is full of people who tried to repress sense organs & failed miserably and societies like present-day India are proving it time and again.
- If you just want to see what is the difference between a Sexually Repressive Person and a Sexually Expressive Person then watch this interview of Sunny Leone - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT-Gd2djRV0, where Sunny was as decent & charming with her responses as anyone can be but the journalist was as sleazy & lewd as anyone could be with his questions & comments. I have said this previously also that just think over why someone needs to create an adult joke or talk with sexually indicative words? That person is basically a mentally sick person who is trying to get some sexual satisfaction through such words, actions or jokes.
- And it is not that we have learnt any lesson from this. It is funny to see that Govt recently decided to telecast advertisements of Condoms after 11 pm in night. Seriously? Are you so scared of your most natural life force? Are you not aware that we all are born through same sexual intercourse and by no means you can repress it? And at the same time we talk about giving sex education to children?
- I think about 2 years back an Advocate tried to ban all the Porn sites in India through a court order. His argument was that such sexual display is not part of Indian Culture. And this is the reason why I feel that present-day India is a sexually repressed society because if this person had any idea about ancient Indian Culture then he would know that Kama Sutra and Rati Rahasya is also part of the same Indian Culture and the people who wrote these books were Sages. These ancient Sages knew very well that a normal human being can’t repress sex. The sexual energy can only be diverted which I will talk later. Just think about this example that why all the important ancient temples have idols in sexual position on outer walls but no such idol in inner walls of temple? Message was very simple that you can approach or realize divinity only after you have win-over or accomplished your sexual desires else we will continue to have these so-called Spiritual Gurus who get convicted in sexual offences. This is the best example of someone trying to repress sexual desires and showing-off himself as God-Man.
- Few of the suggestions I got to improve the situation are legalizing prostitution and sex-education. But we can only imagine that if a society is not comfortable telecasting Condom advertisement in 21st century then when it will become comfortable for these suggestions. Nevertheless, they are spot-on suggestions.
- Last argument can be made that sexual repression is for both man and woman then why only some men indulge in such offences. Here, one of the reason is difference between masculine and feminine energy. Masculine Energy is assertive by nature and which can try to achieve things with power but Feminine Energy is more receptive by nature and that’s why we see that most of these crimes are committed by Man.
- But if Sexual Repression is the only reason then why those countries have sexual offences which are sexually expressive? Here, we have to take into consideration many other reasons which we are going to be discussed ahead. Also, a friend suggested that even sexual expressiveness is not a solution. I agree and that’s where the key of following middle path is important. We can deal with sexual energy in 3 ways. 1st is by expressing it like many western countries do. 2nd is by uselessly repressing it which many countries like India do. The 3rd way is the middle path when you observe that sexual energy and divert it through meditation from your base chakras to higher chakras of spine. That is the only productive way to utilize this sexual energy. So far, people may have misunderstood me that I am advocating sexual expressiveness. No, I am not. I am just condemning sexual repression. Both extremes of sexual repression or sexual expression are wrong. The true path is always the middle path.
Social Upbringing and Seeing a Woman as Sex Object – Then we have to accept the importance of upbringing a person gets in his society or family. So, let’s cover these reasons too –
- We have to accept that most of the societies are male dominated societies. Especially in many parts of India, Woman’s role is still limited with home or kitchen. So, if a person has seen an environment from childhood where women in his family are not given proper respect then it is hard to expect such a person to respect other women in society.
- In NDTV’s documentary on Nirbhaya’s case, one of the accused was speaking on camera that it is not woman’s job to go out of home. Her role is limited up to home life only. Needless to say that majority of families in India consider a woman’s role limited to child birth. If it is so then you are not treating a woman more than a sex object. And if you are doing so then you are just revisiting mirror image of that thinking in your society.
- Also, pay attention to the kind of words people use for girls and women in daily life or in movies or songs. All words indicate towards objectifying the woman.
- There is also a history of male dominance over females throughout different societies of the world. So, in current changing times when we see most of women equally competing with men in all areas of life, it hurts the ego of some man who still like to have dominance over women as their matter of right. In many a cases, this dominance struggle results in sexual crimes.
- Recently, PM Narendra Modi suggested that Govt takes all actions to prevent such incidents but the family in which a child grows up has the biggest responsibility. I agree with him. Family is 1st school any child can get. If he sees a good respectful relation between his father and mother, then automatically he would develop respect for woman.
- It is refreshing to see that some people give such importance to family life even after running away from their own family right after marriage.
- Most of the times a Woman’s clothing or Movies are cited as the reason behind sexual offences. 1st of all such reasoning cannot work when such crimes happen with children. I mean what clothing an 8-month old could have got for herself to prevent herself from getting raped?
- Then even if I accept this logic of clothing or Movies/TV impacting someone’s action then I will accept only for those individuals who carry a very weak mind and if it is so then again it is the culprit’s problem not victim’s mistake. Here, a story of Buddhism can guide us better –
- Anand was the closest disciple of Buddha. He was a very good looking young man and whenever he used to go for collecting alms, a Girl used to look at him and get attracted towards him. One day she asked him to be her guest for 7 days. Anand said that he would need Buddha’s permission for that. He asked Buddha during evening assembly and although most of people rejected girl’s request, Buddha agreed. Buddha said that if I don’t allow you to stay in her home then it means that a girl has over-powered my Sannyas. So, Anand went to stay at her home for 7 days. In 7 days, the girl tried her level best to seduce Anand but to no success. 8th day Anand returned and girl came with him as new Sanyasin.
- So, I accept that a person’s clothing or movie or TV shows are going to impact a person’s mind but that is going to be the weakest of minds. Again, it is person’s own mistake that he carries such weak mind because there are ways by which he can make his mind strong enough so that it may not lose the senses only because of someone’s clothing or a sexual scene in movie.
- Then one opinion came which emphasized on the immigration problem in big cities as reason behind such offences. I would accept it as issue of over-population of any place can be reason of various crimes. The more the population of a place, the more chances of crimes occurring at that place. Hence, it is very valid reason and emphasizes on need of controlling our ever-growing population. The lesser population we have, the better resources and education we can provide to next generation and they can become better human beings. But if our population continues to grow at the same speed then we have some serious problems to face in coming years in all areas of life.
Revenge & Defame – Then in recent cases like Kathua and Indore where children become victims, the reason is more about defaming the victim’s family or taking some sort of revenge. The reason behind making children as victim is very simple that they don’t have physical power to resist the culprit’s assault. So, in a way such acts are done by the most cowardly people. I don’t think that there is any lust satisfaction involved in such crimes but these are purely done to either defame the family or take revenge from family.
Lack of implementation of Laws & Political Will – A suggestion was made that such incidents occur as culprits have no fear of law. I completely agree with it. It is not that India doesn’t have strong laws against such crimes but there is no political will to implement such laws without any fear or favour. We have clearly seen it in recent cases of Kathua & Unnao that culprits allegedly kept the bribe ready even before committing crime. So, they were sure that they will be able to bribe the police. Also, it was alleged that accused got shielded by their political connections. Govt or Police can implement same laws against a common man but when it comes to taking action against politicians then will is certainly lacking. Also, at investigation level, agencies commit basic mistakes. This I can tell from my own experience of legal practice. Recently, we came to know that in USA an accused is caught after 40 years of crime who was popularly known as “Golden State Killer”. I would love to know that which investigating agency or officer in India can have such patience and perseverance. So, it is not that such offences only happen in India. Basic fact that people from many countries commented on my post itself shows that it is global problem but at least in majority of countries people get justice in time. Here, unless it is a case of a popular person or unless it gets media exposure, we can’t hope to even get a fast track court hearing. And then there is a problem of vacant post of judges. Good number of Judges’ post are always vacant and despite “PM’s or Govt’s best efforts” they continue to remain vacant. In such scenario, how can one even expect to get justice in time and that is only going to motivate the criminals. They know that judiciary will take generations to decide a case and hence, where is the fear of any punishment? Needless to say that this delay in justice is also the reason why most of such crimes remain unreported.
Pervert Minds – And then there will always be some pervert minds from birth who are like serial killers or psychopath criminals. The only way to prevent society from them is to report the 1st crime done by them and put them behind the bars for whole life. Like in recent case in Pakistan of victim Zainab Ansari, the accused was habitual to commit sexual offences with children. In such cases, the only way to prevent further crimes is to report the 1st crime as soon as possible and get the person in jail.
Lack of Meditation in Current Society – And this brings me to the last reason as well as the suggestion for preventing such crimes. Reason is lack of meditation and suggestion is making meditation mandatory to all across the world. We are back at same concept of astrology which I repeat always that Moon is most important planet in our chart as it represents our mind. We take decisions as per our mindset. Meditation stabilizes the mind. If Anand could resist himself against all the seductive temptation of that girl from 7 days then it is only because he was regular in meditation and may be for 7 days he would have remained in the meditative state. Also, through meditation we can redirect that sexual energy towards some positive achievements. Understand that from base chakra sexual energy can either go downwards through sexual intercourse and you can waste it or through meditation you can redirect it towards higher chakras & same sexual energy can help you in evolution of soul. Understand that in ancient times, a child used to learn Meditation as the 1st thing in life from 4-5 years of age, so that when he reaches the age of 14-15 when he becomes sexually active then he is all set to redirect this energy towards his higher chakras. So, Sexual Energy is not wrong. If you want to drive a chariot, you need strong horses and strong charioteer both. You can’t drive it with weak horses. So, Sexual Energy is that strong horse which can take us towards enlightenment through activation of all chakras but problem now is that we have strong horses but the charioteer himself is weak. The main or most important reason behind sexual offences is that humanity is not well equipped to control sexual energy. Strong Horses are driving the Weak Charioteer crazy. Only through meditation, we can take control of this strong sexual energy and redirect it for the higher purpose for which it is given by nature. I personally feel that if meditation is made compulsory across the world then we will live in a much better world.
Conclusion – So, these are some of my thoughts and others’ opinions on reasons behind sexual offences and suggestions to prevent those. Article open for comments.
Hope this helps. Please post any comment or query you may have.