Interpretation of Seventh Rule of Love

Rule Number 7 — Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.

– Shams (to Self)

Context

This rule appears at a moment when Shams is waiting for signs and omens to guide him toward the one who will become his true successor, the one worthy of receiving his knowledge and wisdom. Baba Zaman, the Master of the Dervish Lodge, announces to his students that he has received a message indicating that one of the dervishes may have to travel to Konya to meet Rumi and assume the role of his teacher.

Until this news arrives, Shams waits patiently in solitude. It is during this waiting that he recalls this rule.

Interpretation Within the Story

Although solitude and silence are often regarded as supreme in the spiritual journey, Shams declares that it is best to find someone who will act as your mirror.

Why?

Because even if a person attains the highest peaks of knowledge and wisdom, what purpose does it serve if it cannot be transmitted to others? If one withdraws entirely into silence, that wisdom may perish with the physical body. Therefore, it becomes essential to find the right person, someone capable of receiving and carrying forward that knowledge, so that it continues to live beyond the teacher’s earthly existence.

Deeper Interpretation Beyond the Story

Loneliness and solitude are commonly treated as synonyms, yet in spirituality there is a profound distinction between them. Spiritual masters have repeatedly emphasized this difference.

Loneliness is a state of being alone while inwardly craving companionship. It is not chosen; it arises from circumstance. If given the option, such a person would prefer not to be alone.

Solitude, on the other hand, is a higher state of aloneness without compulsion. There is no insistence that someone must be present. If companionship comes, it is welcomed. If it departs, it is released without resistance. There is neither craving nor rejection. A person established in solitude can remain alone for a lifetime without complaint.

The real danger lies in self-deception. The human mind can easily convince itself that loneliness is solitude. A person may still be restless for companionship yet believe they have transcended desire.

This is why Shams says solitude is superior to loneliness. In solitude, there is no dependency.

Yet he adds that eventually it is best to find someone who will be your mirror.

Why?

If one remains in loneliness, the restlessness for companionship continues, along with the illusion that one has risen above it. Finding the right person dissolves this confusion.

If one is truly established in solitude, then a companion becomes meaningful for another reason: the transmission of wisdom and love.

These two states may also be seen symbolically. Loneliness belongs to material love. Solitude belongs to spiritual love.

In both cases, Shams insists that the other person must be like a mirror.

What does that mean?

The essential quality of a mirror is receptivity. It reflects whatever stands before it, without distortion or resistance.

In both material and spiritual relationships, there must be mutual receptivity. Without it, energy is wasted in resistance and conflict.

The same applies to the teacher and student relationship. If the student is unprepared, much time is spent elevating the student before true transmission can begin.

Finally, Shams says:
“Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”

Just as you need a mirror to see your face, you need another human being to recognize your inner self. The way you perceive another reveals your own interior state. If you see God in someone, you glimpse the God within yourself. If you see deceit in another, it invites you to examine the deceit within you. If a teacher sees possibility of evolution in a student then it means that teacher himself is at evolved state.

Others are essential for self-understanding. Our judgments about others often mirror hidden truths about ourselves.

Gratitude.