"I am reminded of a story where a Saint was climbing hills of Badrinath with all his stuff on his back. He saw a girl ahead of him carrying her brother on her back. When he came near to the little girl, he said - Ohh what a great burden you are carrying on your shoulder!!!!
Girl got angry and replied - Burden you are carrying. He is not burden, he is my brother.
Normally, we love to tell each other that I did this for you and I did that for him. Parents say to their child that how much sacrifices we have done for you but what we are getting in return and after few years child starts returning the compliment as to how much he is doing and he is not getting anything in return? Well, no one does anything for anyone.
You did it because there was love involved and basic act of doing brought you happiness. So you got your return of happiness at the same moment when you did an act. If you are asking something more then it is deal or bargain, it was never love.
We always do everything for our own happiness and the day that act stops giving us happiness, we stop doing that or we start complaining about it. From that day, it becomes a deal.
People say that parents do so much for their children selflessly. Well, they are doing it because they are their own children. If they were someone else's child then let's see who is interested in doing what? So, there is selfish interest involved. It doesn't mean that we should disrespect our parents or elders or dismiss their contribution in our lives. I am just on the point that all our acts are motivated due to some involvement of love or happiness for self.
Let's take my example, people compliment me that I always reply to all comments or messages and I share information so easily. There is rarely someone who went unreplied so far but it is because I like interacting with people and my exalted Jupiter in 9th house loves to share information with all. So, I am doing it for myself and my own happiness.
Introspect about it. There is always our own happiness involved behind all our acts.
Post on 3rd Nov, 2018
So, this is going to be one of my post on social topic because I am posting about Marriage. As Marriage remains a social institution, we have to talk more about social scenario than Astrological Concepts.
Time and again I have posted on how Astrology has no connection with marriage and this link must be destroyed ASAP. You can read my views on this topic here - http://astrosaxena.com/ramm, http://astrosaxena.com/irm, http://astrosaxena.com/d9lifepath, http://astrosaxena.com/chartmatch, and http://astrosaxena.com/2marriage. In this article, I discussed about how much Astrology can help in relationship matters - https://www.astrosaxena.com/astromarriage1.
Then I talked extensively on various social reasons why relationships are becoming more and more tough. You can read these posts here - https://www.astrosaxena.com/marriageissues , https://www.astrosaxena.com/divissues , https://www.astrosaxena.com/relations2 and https://www.astrosaxena.com/fbrelations.
I have realized that there is one more reason, besides all other reasons I already talked, why relationships are tough day-by-day? It is more applicable for societies like India where still 90% marriages are arranged.
So, how much time we take to fix an arranged marriage in most of the cases?
As far as I know, prospective Bride & Groom get 10-15 mins to talk with each other and even in that time, their parents may be busy in finalizing "The Deal". At max, they get half-an hour to "supposedly" know each other.
Well, then average is just perfect. You gave half-an hour to decide the marriage and that marriage is lasting for half-an year, right? After 6 months, either they are filing for divorce or they are just dragging each other for rest of life.
One can say that these days couples chat with each other before getting married to understand each other.
Well yes, but by that time engagement is already done, drums are already beaten up in friends & relatives. So, even if they don't find a connection with each other in their interaction before marriage then also it is like compulsory for them to get married to save their families' so-called image/reputation. Very rarely someone will have guts to break the engagement.
But the main point I am trying to stress here is that we need to get rid of this system of deciding the marriages. We have to accept that if foundation of marriage is in "A Deal" then it will last only till the deal is final and transaction is complete. If there is no love or emotions involved between the couple then there is very rare chance of sustaining the marriage, except through dragging it. And those emotions can be developed between 2 people only through regular interaction.
Also, it is foolish to check someone's chart to know the nature of person. None can tell it perfectly. Take my chart & try to tell my nature and you will find that in real life I can be a very different person, either for good or bad. You can only know a person through interacting with him/her over a long period of time. That's why I tell my clients/friends to meet/talk with the prospective spouse for at least one year then take the decision. And if someone is not willing to give one year before marriage then just imagine how he can give about 25 years after the marriage, for which you must be planning for your marriage?
Osho was known to criticize institution of marriage but he also said that if marriage institution can be saved, then it is through love marriage, not through arranged marriage. He said that marriage should be result of love but Indian Society is trying to do something opposite by creating love through marriage.
Even Astrologically, 5th house of Love comes 1st and then comes 7th house of Marriage. So, mutual Love or Emotions are foundation on which institution of marriage can sustain.
And for all those people who say that it is not the tradition and their arranged marriage had sustained, please go through the articles I gave in beginning. I covered the points on which we can see a clear change in Indian Social Setup and why rules of 20th Century cannot be applied in 21st Century in matters of marriage.
And if people are still fond of old times then they should remain in those old times only for all other reasons too. They should still go to their village Vaidya for treatment and not the multi-speciality hospitals. They should still listen to Radio & Transistors and get rid of Netflix.
For God sake, we have to change with the time and this is one change which is seriously needed in deciding the marriage matters.