Need for Change in Approach

So, this is going to be one of my post on social topic because I am posting about Marriage. As Marriage remains a social institution, we have to talk more about social scenario than Astrological Concepts.

Time and again I have posted on how Astrology has no connection with marriage and this link must be destroyed ASAP. You can read my views on this topic here -, and In this article, I discussed about how much Astrology can help in relationship matters -

Then I talked extensively on various social reasons why relationships are becoming more and more tough. You can read these posts here - , , and

I have realized that there is one more reason, besides all other reasons I already talked, why relationships are tough day-by-day? It is more applicable for societies like India where still 90% marriages are arranged.

So, how much time we take to fix an arranged marriage in most of the cases?:P

As far as I know, prospective Bride & Groom get 10-15 mins to talk with each other and even in that time, their parents may be busy in finalizing "The Deal". At max, they get half-an hour to "supposedly" know each other.

Well, then average is just perfect. You gave half-an hour to decide the marriage and that marriage is lasting for half-an year, right? After 6 months, either they are filing for divorce or they are just dragging each other for rest of life.

One can say that these days couples chat with each other before getting married to understand each other.

Well yes, but by that time engagement is already done, drums are already beaten up in friends & relatives. So, even if they don't find a connection with each other in their interaction before marriage then also it is like compulsory for them to get married to save their families' so-called image/reputation. Very rarely someone will have guts to break the engagement.

But the main point I am trying to stress here is that we need to get rid of this system of deciding the marriages. We have to accept that if foundation of marriage is in "A Deal" then it will last only till the deal is final and transaction is complete. If there is no love or emotions involved between the couple then there is very rare chance of sustaining the marriage, except through dragging it. And those emotions can be developed between 2 people only through regular interaction.

Also, it is foolish to check someone's chart to know the nature of person. None can tell it perfectly. Take my chart & try to tell my nature and you will find that in real life I can be a very different person, either for good or bad. You can only know a person through interacting with him/her over a long period of time. That's why I tell my clients/friends to meet/talk with the prospective spouse for at least one year then take the decision. And if someone is not willing to give one year before marriage then just imagine how he can give about 25 years after the marriage, for which you must be planning for your marriage?

Osho was known to criticize institution of marriage but he also said that if marriage institution can be saved, then it is through love marriage, not through arranged marriage. He said that marriage should be result of love but Indian Society is trying to do something opposite by creating love through marriage.

Even Astrologically, 5th house of Love comes 1st and then comes 7th house of Marriage. So, mutual Love or Emotions are foundation on which institution of marriage can sustain.

And for all those people who say that it is not the tradition and their arranged marriage had sustained, please go through the articles I gave in beginning. I covered the points on which we can see a clear change in Indian Social Setup and why rules of 20th Century cannot be applied in 21st Century in matters of marriage.

And if people are still fond of old times then they should remain in those old times only for all other reasons too. They should still go to their village Vaidya for treatment and not the multi-speciality hospitals. They should still listen to Radio & Transistors and get rid of Netflix.

For God sake, we have to change with the time and this is one change which is seriously needed in deciding the marriage matters.




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