these are my posts on Venus Retrograde and Relationship Matters from 2018 when
Venus transited and retrograded in Libra from Aug-Dec, 2018. As Venus is about
to retrograde again, these posts would be helpful to understand complexities of
Why Venus represents
- Because Venus is signification of Water Element. Water Element is something
which glues and stick two things together. Hence, Venus represents Relationship
as Relationship makes 2 people stick with each other.
7th house is other
people, masses and people you come across in your daily life.
7th house is also
your relationship or partner because your partner is also one among the masses
who comes into your life.
So, the way you
treat other people or masses in your daily life is exactly the way you treat
If someone is not
respectful of people he meets on street, no matter who that person is (from a
millionaire to a beggar or an auto rickshaw driver), and doesn't behave
courteously then it is highly improbable that this person will treat his/her
spouse in a dignified way.
It also includes
social media these days. If person is enjoying trolling, speaking rubbish
against others and not willing to give respect to other people views then it
may be very tough for such person to respect views of spouse. Many people just
want to put across their opinion and not willing to listen to other's response
then it may be tough for person to listen to the views of partner.
That's why they say that person's 1st relationship
is always with himself and if someone is not honest while dealing with himself
then just get rid of the thought that he/she will be honest while dealing with
We might not have realized
but we have entered in a difficult phase of about 5 months for relationship
aspect of life. It is because Venus has entered into the sign of Virgo, the
sign of debilitation. It is Venus' weakest dignity. Venus is relationship and
Virgo is sign of Conflicts. So, the simplest interpretation is that when Venus
is in Virgo, it leads conflicts in relationship. Then by month end, Venus will
be in Libra where it will go retrograde and stay there till year-end. Although, Venus will be in own sign and Venus &
Libra both represent Relationship but Retrograde is generally a time when we
reflect back at things related with planet which is retrograde.
Hence, Venus in Libra will
make us reflect back on current or past relationship. People can easily go
through a major conflict in their relationship life. Some may even decide to
quit it. But overall, this time will be about being aware about relationship or
partner and decide if your relationship is balanced one (Libra) or not. And if
not, how it can be made a balanced one. So, lots of thinking will be around
relationship area of life. Positively speaking, this time can give you best
awareness regarding the balanced relationship. I won't say adjust as much or as
long as you can but I would say to find out the balance in relationship where
both parties are equal and none is dominating anyone.
I was listening to a
preaching of Osho in which he said that Husband was traditionally addressed as
Swami in Indian Culture. Swami means The Owner/Master. And Wife used to say
that she is his Dasi, which means Servant. It looks like what immense love is
there between two. But always remember that love happens only between Equals.
There can be no love between a Master and a Servant.
in next 5 months, try to achieve that balance or equality in relationship and
if you don't get it then it is worth keeping. An article on Venus Retrograde - https://www.astrosaxena.com/ven18 .
Violence can be of 2 types, i.e. either direct or
If I tell you that do such things for me otherwise I
will kill you, then it is direct violence.
But if I tell you that do such things for me otherwise
I will kill myself, then it is an indirect violence.
Same activity is happening but in 2nd case the
culprit is taking away all the sympathies. He is still forcing other person to
act as he wants but now he is getting sympathies of people because they can't
see the indirect violence. This is done at psychological level and here the
culprit starts looking like victim. This is a minute level of violence and
needs a minute observation to catch it. All people who go on hunger strikes and
fast unto death are also similar culprits. And always remember that a person,
who has no value for his own life, can have no value for other's life too.
Indirect Violence is commonly used in toxic
and abusive relationships and the culprit makes others feel that he is victim.
If anyone is in such type of relation then get rid of such person ASAP. Beware
of these people because as I said a person, who has no value for his own life,
can have no value for other's life too.
"I am reminded of a story where a Saint was climbing hills of
Badrinath with all his stuff on his back. He saw a girl ahead of him carrying
her brother on her back. When he came near to the little girl, he said - Ohh
what a great burden you are carrying on your shoulder!!!!
Girl got angry and
replied - Burden you are carrying. He is not burden, he is my brother.
Normally, we love to tell each other that I did this for you and I did
that for him. Parents say to their child that how much sacrifices we have done
for you but what we are getting in return and after few years child starts
returning the compliment as to how much he is doing and he is not getting
anything in return? Well, no one does anything for anyone.
You did it because
there was love involved and basic act of doing brought you happiness. So you
got your return of happiness at the same moment when you did an act. If you are
asking something more then it is deal or bargain, it was never love.
We always do
everything for our own happiness and the day that act stops giving us
happiness, we stop doing that or we start complaining about it. From that day,
it becomes a deal.
People say that
parents do so much for their children selflessly. Well, they are doing it
because they are their own children. If they were someone else's child then
let's see who is interested in doing what? So, there is selfish interest
involved. It doesn't mean that we should disrespect our parents or elders or
dismiss their contribution in our lives. I am just on the point that all our
acts are motivated due to some involvement of love or happiness for self.
Let's take my
example, people compliment me that I always reply to all comments or messages
and I share information so easily. There is rarely someone who went unreplied
so far but it is because I like interacting with people and my exalted Jupiter
in 9th house loves to share information with all. So, I am doing it for myself
and my own happiness.
it. There is always our own happiness involved behind all our acts.
So, this is going
to be one of my post on social topic because I am posting about Marriage. As
Marriage remains a social institution, we have to talk more about social
scenario than Astrological Concepts.
Time and again I
have posted on how Astrology has no connection with marriage and this link must
be destroyed ASAP. You can read my views on this topic here - http://astrosaxena.com/ramm, http://astrosaxena.com/irm, http://astrosaxena.com/d9lifepath, http://astrosaxena.com/chartmatch,
In this article, I discussed about how much Astrology can help in relationship
matters - https://www.astrosaxena.com/astromarriage1.
Then I talked
extensively on various social reasons why relationships are becoming more and
more tough. You can read these posts here - https://www.astrosaxena.com/marriageissues , https://www.astrosaxena.com/divissues , https://www.astrosaxena.com/relations2 and https://www.astrosaxena.com/fbrelations.
I have realized
that there is one more reason, besides all other reasons I already talked, why
relationships are tough day-by-day? It is more applicable for societies like
India where still 90% marriages are arranged.
So, how much time we take to fix an
arranged marriage in most of the cases?:P
As far as I know,
prospective Bride & Groom get 10-15 mins to talk with each other and even
in that time, their parents may be busy in finalizing "The Deal". At
max, they get half-an hour to "supposedly" know each other.
Well, then average
is just perfect. You gave half-an hour to decide the marriage and that marriage
is lasting for half-an year, right? After 6 months, either they are filing for
divorce or they are just dragging each other for rest of life.
One can say that
these days couples chat with each other before getting married to understand
Well yes, but by
that time engagement is already done, drums are already beaten up in friends
& relatives. So, even if they don't find a connection with each other in
their interaction before marriage then also it is like compulsory for them to
get married to save their families' so-called image/reputation. Very rarely
someone will have guts to break the engagement.
But the main point
I am trying to stress here is that we need to get rid of this system of
deciding the marriages. We have to accept that if foundation of marriage is in
"A Deal" then it will last only till the deal is final and transaction
is complete. If there is no love or emotions involved between the couple then
there is very rare chance of sustaining the marriage, except through dragging
it. And those emotions can be developed between 2 people only through regular
Also, it is foolish
to check someone's chart to know the nature of person. None can tell it
perfectly. Take my chart & try to tell my nature and you will find that in
real life I can be a very different person, either for good or bad. You can
only know a person through interacting with him/her over a long period of time.
That's why I tell my clients/friends to meet/talk with the prospective spouse
for at least one year then take the decision. And if someone is not willing to
give one year before marriage then just imagine how he can give about 25 years
after the marriage, for which you must be planning for your marriage?
Osho was known to
criticize institution of marriage but he also said that if marriage institution
can be saved, then it is through love marriage, not through arranged marriage.
He said that marriage should be result of love but Indian Society is trying to
do something opposite by creating love through marriage.
Astrologically, 5th house of Love comes 1st and then comes 7th house of
Marriage. So, mutual Love or Emotions are foundation on which institution of
marriage can sustain.
And for all those
people who say that it is not the tradition and their arranged marriage had
sustained, please go through the articles I gave in beginning. I covered the
points on which we can see a clear change in Indian Social Setup and why rules
of 20th Century cannot be applied in 21st Century in matters of marriage.
And if people are
still fond of old times then they should remain in those old times only for all
other reasons too. They should still go to their village Vaidya for treatment
and not the multi-speciality hospitals. They should still listen to Radio &
Transistors and get rid of Netflix.
For God sake, we have to change with the time and
this is one change which is seriously needed in deciding the marriage matters.
So, Venus Retrograde from
tomorrow for next 40 days. Period of 40 days of Penance has its importance in
many religions. Venus represents our luxuries & convenient life and Penance
is a concept of living an inconvenient life. The Life of Austerity. As I see,
Venus Retrograde would be having some connection with this 40 days time period
of penance or austerity from ancient times.
important thing about this Venus retrograde is that it is being retrograde in
the sign of Libra ruled by Venus only. Venus and Libra both represent
Relationship. Libra also represents Balance. Retrograde is always about
reflecting back. So, we are entering a time period of next 40 days when we will
be reflecting back on relationship matters and re-assess if we are in a
balanced relationship or not. Now, it is not about adjusting, accommodating or
being flexible in relationship. It is about seeing if you are getting enough in
return of what you are doing in relation. It is about striking the balance now.
as it is all about relationship, we can say that it is all about anti-ego now
as ego and relationship can't co-exist. Venus retro time normally brings
break-up and divorce but it happens where one or both persons in relationship
are unable to let-go of their individualistic ego. So, here you may need to
choose as to what is more important for you, Ego or Relationship? Not a good
time for Ego.
always, I think every retrograde or debilitated transit of planet can be better
handled when we go within ourselves. If you try to project your frustration in
relationship to your partner then you are here for a tough time. But if you
just go internally to reflect on your frustration then you may realize your own
mistakes in your relationship and things may be resolved. Even if you are going
through a rough time in relationship then also reflect back at all mistakes you
did while getting into such relationship and learn from those mistakes to not
to repeat them again in future relation. This is the way any retrograde time
can be utilized in a better way.
you just start projecting things on partner then he/she may also have lots to
project and things may go horrible. But I agree that even this reflection or
introspection is needed from both the sides. Only one person in relationship
can't be expected to introspect every time.
I am speaking about balanced introspection for relationship matters. So, it is
all about striking the balance in relation where mutual trust, mutual respect,
mutual understanding and mutual love can exist.
They also say that ex-lovers return in life
during Venus Retro. They may but reunion or resumption of relationship depends
on overall chart, dashas and transits. Likewise, they say not to start a new
relationship during Venus retrograde time. Well, as if it is in our hands when
to start and when not to start?
So, time and again I have said that there is no chart ideal or perfect
for relationship/marriage. Every chart has many issues. Some minor issues and
some horrible issues. So, today let's look at certain things astrologically
which can tell that a person can be good in handling relations.
1. Our eyes
automatically go to 7th house when we talk about marriage/relationship stuff
and I agree that it is important but what leads to problems in marriage is not
the 7th house but 6th house and 12th house.
2. Understand that
planets in 7th house indicate as to what circumstances can impact relationship.
Like, Saturn in 7th house shows that marriage can be average one if person
delays the marriage, both partners are matured enough to handle the realistic
nature of Saturn or they maintain a long distance relationship. Like, I have 2
clients who are married with their respective spouses for about 20 years now
and they stay separately in other states (without any conflict between them)
and meet once in 2-3 months. They are doing it for 20+ years now, So, this is
what is realistic way of dealing with relationship from both sides as they
realized the nature of relationship they can have under these circumstances.
So, 7th house may not create problems in marriage if both partners are ready to
work as per the planets involved in 7th house.
3. But my eyes go
directly to 6th house and 12th house. 6th house is house of conflicts, disputes
and eventual divorce/break-up/separation. 12th house is 6th from 7th house. So,
12th house also indicates conflicts, disputes and eventual divorce/break-up/separation
from spouse/partner. Somehow, I am not concerned about the date of marriage but
I am more concerned as to what will happen after honeymoon period is over in
4. Ideally, there
should not be any planet in 6th house and 12th house if you are looking for
even an average relationship. If at all there are planets then they should be
benefic planets in good dignity. Like, one of my friend has
Jupiter-Mercury-Venus in 6th house/Sagittarius. So, this Saraswati Yoga in 6th
house protects person from conflicts. Same rule for 12th house. If at all there
is any planet in 12th house, it should be benefic planet in good dignity.
5. The real issue
comes when 2-3 malefic planets are in 6th house or 12th house and they are also
in wrong dignity. Here, relationship can be impacted by continuous conflicts.
6. Next thing you
should see is position and dignity (both) of Moon, Venus and Jupiter. They are
the planets of relationship and show our ability to be flexible with others or
adjust with others. Moon is mind, Venus is relationship and Jupiter is karaka
of family life as it represents marriage, children and husband for a girl. Now,
these planets should be in houses related with relation & family life AND
they should also be in good dignity. Like, let's say Moon is in 2nd house, 7th
house or 11th house but if it is debilitated or hemmed by malefic planets then
it is of no use. So, Moon-Venus-Jupiter must be in relationship oriented houses
and must be in good dignity. It will show that person can make compromises for
7. 7th house lord
should not be debilitated or with malefics. It should be in friendly or exalted
8. If all these
things are there then we can hope that person will have maturity to handle the
relationship. Dashas and transits will still activate your 6th house and 12th
house, but person will have stable mind to deal with such situations.
9. 8th house is
also a Dushthana House but it is 2nd from 7th house. So, it also shows benefits
of marriage. But still, as it is Dushthana house which can cause sudden events
and accidents, same rules apply for 8th house too that ideally it should be
empty or there should be benefic planets in good dignity.
10. Last but not
the least, 2 gospel truths of Astrology.
A. If you haven't
crossed Saturn's age of 35 and Saturn is impacting your relationship
houses/planets "ANY HOW" or you are under Saturn dasha then you have
no other option but to wait till 35 years of age. Any relationship before that
can be troublesome despite good positions of Moon, Venus, Jupiter, 6th house,
8th house and 12th house.
B. Unless your
dashas are supporting relationship, it may not work. Person may have excellent
Moon-Venus-Jupiter position but his dasha is of Saturn or Rahu in 6th house
then avoid relationship till a better dasha comes up.
Again, at least one
among partners should have a good chart for marriage. I don't think it is
possible to get two persons in relationship with all good qualities in their
chart. So, whoever has a better chart should take more responsibility to
sustain the relationship and the other person should come in supportive role.
Other person should realize that marriage is sustaining only because of
partner. So, he/she is just supposed to co-operate with the other partner.
Likewise, one with better dasha should have higher say in relationship. If
dasha changes, then roles can be changed. Like, if girl is under Jupiter dasha
and Jupiter is exalted whereas the guy is under Rahu dasha and Rahu is in 6th
house, then guy should let girl lead the marriage and family life &
decisions. Once dasha changes for girl & guy both, they can change their
roles according to dasha planets and dignity of planets.
Like this, even if
someone has a very bad horoscope for marriage but he can still sustain the
marriage due to support of partner's chart or dasha but for that he has to let
go of his ego in marriage. Anyways, relationship and ego can't be together.
Again, there can be some other tips too which I
will post in future.
This post can be termed as sequel to my post on relationship yesterday.
have complains to me that I only tell the problems in chart but no remedy or
gemstone. I have clarified my views on remedy/gemstones much earlier - https://www.astrosaxena.com/remexp and
I stand on those grounds still.
Still, today I try
to tell the best remedy or gemstone which can resolve all your problems. So,
let me know how many people can afford to perform that remedy or wear that
gemstone after reading this post.
Again, it is in
matters of relationship only because in Career matters, if you put efforts
continuously then sooner or later you will get some good results. Like, I think
I have the most trashed 10th house in my chart with Rahu-Saturn in Leo, Mars
8th aspect on 10th house and 10th lord sitting 6 houses away in 3rd house. Still,
I managed to have a Career for myself.
But it becomes
difficult in relationship because duality gets involved. Wherever 2 people are
involved, there will be friction or conflict. It is the basic nature or result
of duality. Normally, we focus on husband-wife or boy friend-girl friend
relation but take any relation in your life and you will find some friction in
it at some point of time. Like, I know about myself that I always had
differences of opinion with almost everyone in my family and friends. I am
almost an out-caste as I talk with selected few people only out of my own will.
For others, I only respond.
So, all relations
are difficult but love/romantic relations look more difficult after a certain
time as we can see a way-out of it. Because we can't take divorce from parents
or siblings, we try to find ways to make it work. But in marriage/relation, as soon
as the conflict arises, an option of divorce/break-up automatically comes in
mind. It is none's fault. Because option is there, it is bound to come in mind.
Now, coming back to our best remedy/gemstone.
As marriage remains
a social institution, we have to look at how marriages used to last long up to
the year 2000. One of my friend's parents recently celebrated 40 years of
marriage and my own maternal grandparents had a 55 years long marriage. So,
what was the key then which we are missing now? That key is your best remedy or
Of course, those
people would also have had all the malefic planets impacting relationship
houses/planets, paap kartari yoga, mangalik-non-mangalik issue, Saturn
impacting everywhere in chart. Then how come they survived all these impacts of
malefic planets? We can't say that Saturn is only jealous towards people got
married after 2000. So except 1 or 2 cases of widowhood, we rarely heard any
case of divorce in those days. And widowhood is also something which is not
dependent on marriage. If a person is supposed to die then he will die, no
matter he is married or not. It is extreme foolishness which we hear that
because of getting married to this/that person, he/she died.
Anyways, here we
come back to the main point which I raise again and again. Till 2000, one party
to the marriage remained subservient to another and in 99.99% of cases, it was
woman who remained subservient to man. When one party is not even allowed to
raise her voice in marriage then where is the question of any dispute or
conflicts. And to imagine about filing divorce was a big joke in those times.
Now in changed
times in 21st century, we can't expect that subservient attitude from woman.
When they have got education and career like Man, they have equal right in
relationship. Now for the 1st time in societies like India, relationship is
between equals and this is where the problem is coming. Man ego is unable to
give woman the equal right or equal say in marriage. And actually, they should
have higher say now because let's face it, Man is beneficiary here. Woman is
leaving her family and changing her whole identity for Man. So, it is obvious
that she should get her due place. I know that many of my female ex-colleagues
used to take care of home & career responsibilities both. So, under these
circumstances, they must get a higher place in relationship than man as they
are looking after both responsibilities simultaneously. This is something I
discussed here - https://www.astrosaxena.com/marriageissues.
Now, as we can't
expect woman to be subservient to man, the only way to save institution of
marriage (which is rapidly falling) is by Man appreciating the contribution of
Woman in family. I understand that it will be too much for Man's ego to become
subservient to Woman but even if they are appreciative of the contribution of
Woman in Family then lots of issues will be resolved. As Woman has become more
masculine in changing times due to the responsibilities they undertake, it is
for Man to adopt certain feminine qualities within himself. Something which I
discussed here - https://www.astrosaxena.com/relations2 .
Now, we can't expect any side to be dominating or subservient to another. Now,
we are entering in times where relationship has to be a balanced one (Libra).
So, your only
remedy or gemstone is awareness or mindfulness. Be aware and mindful of the
changing social dynamics. Be aware and mindful every moment as to what your
spouse is bringing into marriage. Normally, once people get married or get into
relationship, they start taking their partner for granted. Be aware and mindful
that none would like such neglect and if they leave you then you will be at
zero again. So, this is the only remedy or gemstone I know. Be aware and
your anger or frustration, get aware that your anger can finish your marriage.
Be aware that all your religions, which you are so proud of, are dead against
Anger. They treat anger like a poison. Your anger, frustration, disputes and
conflicts only end up in destroying your own life. Be aware of what you are
doing 24x7 and you will be avoiding many unpleasant circumstances.
All these posts on
Relationship are also result of my own awareness and retrospection during this
retrograde season and Venus difficult transit through Cancer to Virgo where I
talked more with myself as and when I got angry rather than projecting anger on
others. That made me to go deeper and deeper in understanding my own mistakes
and drawbacks. Carl Jung said that everything that irritates you about others,
can lead to an understanding about self. So, if your partner is able to
irritate you then ask yourself where did it get hurt within you? Mistake is
within you that's why someone could disturb you. So perform this remedy and
wear this gem of Awareness and Mindfulness 24x7 and you will be fine -https://www.astrosaxena.com/mind.
Coming back to
normal remedy or gemstones - Do you really feel that you wearing a gem can
change behavior of your spouse? I mean, seriously? Or you just want to hope
against hope? I tell you why people are fond of these remedies and gemstones?
Because it is easy
to spend money once in some worship or in wearing gemstone rather than being
aware of your own mistakes and improving yourself. What I am giving you is 24x7
remedy. You have to perform it every moment. Who cares dude? It is easier to
wear a gem and blame the other person.
Unless the whole
humanity changes its way of thinking and mindset through meditation, no other
remedy can help you. So, this is the only remedy I know which can resolve all
your problems. Be Meditative, Be Aware, Be Mindful. Let me know how many can
Rest all is business. Thanks,
Venus is about to transit into Libra in an hour time.
Venus will stay there till 31st Dec, 2018. Venus is relationship and Libra is
relationship, so it can be considered good time for relationship but Libra is
also sign of Balance and Venus will also be retrograde in Libra during this
time. As retrograde is all about reflecting back, people can reflect back at
their relationship and ask themselves if they are in a balanced relationship or
not. Retrograde Venus is a time of break-ups and
separation generally. So, be careful about your relationship matters as things
are not as nice as they look from outside.
Also, Venus will be with Jupiter till
mid-october when Jupiter finds its new home for next 13 months in Scorpio. So
for next 45 days, Jupiter-Venus both will be in Libra. Both Teachers in sign of
Relationship are there to give us some lessons on relationship.
and Creativity wise it can be a good time but relationship matters can see
issues. Again, projecting your anger, disappointment and frustration, due to
your own past issues, on your partner may not help you. It is again time to go
within and ask yourself questions which you are projecting on others. Like I
give you an example. These days possessiveness/controlling nature is one of the
main reason behind break-ups. Partners are too possessive or controlling to
each other up to an extent where they don't give breathing space to other
person. It is said these days that possessiveness is nothing but love or
concern towards partner. LOL :D. Really?
Love gives Freedom, not possessiveness. There
is a difference between showing concern and keeping someone under house arrest.
I mean why it is an issue that your spouse is talking to someone over call or
going to meet his/her friend somewhere? Why people want their partner to report
them about every moment, wherever they are? Is it love? Or is it imprisonment?
Now, go within and ask yourself these
questions. And you will realize that basically you are an insecured person and
suffering from inferiority complex. Deep down you know that your partner can
get a better spouse/partner than you, so you are feeling insecured. What will
happen to me if that happens? Hence, let me put all the rules, regulations to
control his/her every movement, keep them inside a cage and call it my extra
love or care towards them. This is only one example.
All our problems are within ourselves but we
project those issues on others as if they are the cause behind our problems.
This Retrograde Venus in Libra is an opportunity to go retro within ourselves
and find/resolve our issues there only rather than throwing at others.